We never extricated ourselves from the system; we just didn’t go for check-ups or scans

A free birth is one without medical assistance. For us, that meant no scans, no doctors and 58 hours of labour in our lounge: just me, my husband, Flynn, and our friend Claire.

I’m 32 and a yoga teacher, so yoga and mindfulness have allowed me to understand and trust my body. I’m also practical. I looked at all the things that could go wrong, then all the things that could go right – and chose positivity. I fell pregnant with our little girl, Fox, in May 2016.

At the beginning, I went to the GP but it wasn’t empowering. She described pregnancy as a “conveyor belt”. We attended our first midwife appointment but found ourselves questioning a lot of protocol, like getting flu jabs and booking scans. We moved house towards the end of my first trimester and I met the new midwife at the hospital but, again, it felt flat: no joy, nothing to celebrate this extraordinary experience. I told her we didn’t want scans, and she told us all these scary things: you could die; your baby could die. But we asked for the stats and the chances were that wasn’t going to happen. I cried in the street – why would she want to make me question my own body? – and that’s when I made up my mind.

We never extricated ourselves from the system; we just didn’t go for check-ups or scans. I recognised that things could go wrong and I might have changed my mind. I wasn’t foolish.

During the pregnancy, I spent time connecting with my baby every day. From 16 weeks, I felt her moving and Flynn learned to find her heartbeat with his ear.

I didn’t have the mental space to be challenged so I talked only to four close friends about it. We told our parents. It was hard for my mum.

There was one midwife in the system who was OK with us; I think the rest were afraid. She would call when we were due an appointment and I’d say, “No thanks, we’re fine.” But my pregnancy wasn’t a cakewalk. At times I questioned what I’d done.

Labour started at 7pm on the Friday and Fox arrived at 1am on Monday 20 February 2017. That weekend was wild and exhausting. I used yoga, meditation, chanting and watched hypnobirthing tutorials on YouTube on the Saturday night. By Sunday, I was weak. That’s the only time we called the midwife. She came over twice, checked me, and both times said, “Keep going”, and left.

I chose never to use the word “pain” but “sensation”. If I had let my mind take me to a place of pain I think I’d have lost my shit.

My water broke at 10pm on Sunday. Flynn and Claire thought it was hilarious that I blow-dried my hair; I wanted to look good for my baby girl.

By now, I was making primal noises and I couldn’t get any respite from the pain. As the birth approached, I took myself and Flynn to the darkness of the bathroom. I crouched and entered this wave of sensation, and she came so quickly; just flipped out like a fish. I thought she would be calm but her cry was loud. She was so slippery – between four hands we could barely catch her but, together, we did and laid her on my thighs, then I fed her. It was both heart- and mind-blowing. I felt like a warrior woman.

We waited two hours until the cord stopped pulsing, then Flynn cut it with a scalpel. Afterwards, when I was confident enough to share, I put pictures of labour and the placenta on my Instagram page which I describe as radicalising motherhood; encouraging other women to own their journeys.

A midwife came the next day and weighed and measured her. I’m OK with that; it was fun. She’s already had eye drops, so I’m not against giving her medicine.

If we had the money, we might have hired a private midwife who could support us without being constrained by the system, but I’d do everything the same way again. My mum says what I accomplished was miraculous. To me, it felt like the only way; the way women always did it and many cultures still do. We call it free birth, but other women just call it birth.

As told to Deborah Linton

Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEoKyaqpSerq96wqikaKSZm7KiusOsq7KklWR%2FcX2WaJipql9nhXCx16mcq6GVo7Cmechmn5qcXZZ6p77EnmSboaKptQ%3D%3D